“Nothing Real can be threatened – Nothing unreal exists – Therein lies the peace of God”

-Course in Miracles

I was 27 years old. It was the middle of the night. I had just been called to the hospital because my father had a heart attack. When I arrived, I ran into the room where my father was lying, and he was awake and in great pain. I told him how much I loved him and that everything was going to be all right. Yet he seemed to know something deeper. He said goodbye to me like he was leaving. I told him to stop it, he was going to be fine. In my mind I was thinking that once you made it to the hospital and you were sitting up, everything was going to be all right. He looked at me again much deeper and again said goodbye. I told him again he was going to be fine. Within a few seconds they brought him upstairs to attempt a procedure. But the procedure made him go downhill even faster. Hysterical, my four brothers and I began to prepare for the worst. 

Our dad died at age 67, a few days later. Once again, I was reminded about what is real in this life. Loving one another and love itself. He was such a beautiful and loving man. He suffered greatly, right up until his last breath. I did have the opportunity to say goodbye as we had a bedside vigil for three days. He may not have understood much that I said to him, but I know he reacted with a sign when I read aloud to him Psalm 23 repeatedly. I said this prayer for three days by his bedside: 

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want
He makes me lie down in green pastures
He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil for You are with me
Your Rod and Your staff, they comfort me
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies
You anoint my head with oil, my cup over flows

 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life
And I dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”